Douglas Bastard's Rants of Rage


This article was written on 26 Nov 2014, and is filled under Uncategorized.


So. The nights started drawing in a few weeks ago, which gave me a wobble, but nothing I couldn’t survive. Then we put the clocks back and plunged into proper winter gloom, which set me teetering in a rather more serious way and just as I was wondering whether I could pull myself out of it, I got hit by a virus, which appears to have wrecked my head.

The thing is, I have so much to be grateful for. Some new friends are in my life and are giving me new reasons to feel happy. The Street Pastor training has opened my eyes to another world and wearing the charity kilt has… well, it’s given me a way to realise that maybe people are looking at me and not giving much of a bugger, which was one of my triggers.

Now, I’m looking at the kilt I’ve been wearing for two weeks and wondering what possessed me as well as looking back over the previous seven sessions of Pastor training and wondering who actually did it. Everything I’ve ever done seems as though it happened to someone else, every person I’ve met seems like they were described to me by a third party and even walking out of my bedroom feels like I’m climbing the Matterhorn.

There’s no real reason for me to verbalise this other than that, well, it’s my blog. And for one other reason. If you see someone in their car, or on the train or on the pavement or wherever who looks as though they’re walking through hell, don’t think to yourself that they should cheer up. Smile at them, say a silent prayer for them or hold them in your thoughts for a moment.

They might be me, or more likely, will be one of millions of others, who are trying to get through the day as best they can. In its own way, that’s a vast achievement.

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