Douglas Bastard's Rants of Rage


This article was written on 04 Sep 2016, and is filled under Uncategorised.

The working class

I decided earlier on this year that I was no longer a lefty. The paradoxes were too much to ignore and the prim, self-righteous fury of the Corbyn supporters too risible. So I burned by notional left-wing card in a notional blaze and decided that I was best living life away from that nonsense. And since I departed, looking back on it, mainly through the voices of other lefties which now seem as shrill and piping as mine must have done, I wonder that I was part of it for so long.

When a Corbyn supporter started a conversation with me, he said that Europe was ‘too much about business.’ Well, I’ve got some news for him. When business flourishes, so do people, because the businesses employ the people. Without them, we’re all fucked and no money flows into the economy to support the people left wingers are supposed to want it to support. They might call for industries to be nationalised, but if there’s no money to pay the people who work in them, then your trains won’t run very far. Like it or not, lefties, we live in a capitalist society and if you don’t play the game, you starve to death.

Similarly, this same Corbyn supporter berated me for feeling contempt for the working classes. Well, when it’s generally the working classes and the old who vote for UKIP and the Tories and who helped to deliver Brexit then yes, I’m going to feel contempt for them for the simple reason that exiting the EU has plunged our economy into chaos and they don’t understand how they’re affected. If business gets frightened, you fuckwits, business will move. And when business moves, you’ll lose your job and I really doubt that Theresa May or Nigel Farage will give a tuppenny shit about you.

By saying this, I make myself free. I’ve always been obliged, by political inclination, to see the working class as a single, heroic bloc of people, bound by some kind of huge, unspoken bond. And now I can say that no, that’s patronising, romanticised balls. They’re human beings and they have a tendency to vote for and invest in vile people. When Gillian Duffy was traduced by Gordon Brown as ‘an awful woman,’ he should have stuck to his guns. She was an awful woman who was saying awful things. A geriatric, red-faced woman coming out with absolute howling bigotry shouldn’t be dignified by dialogue, she should be mocked and derided for being stupid. People ought to drive past her house, point, and say ‘that’s where the idiot lives,’ but they don’t.

Why? Because most of them are bloody idiots as well. I am working class by income, and talk to a huge number of people who are honest, hard working, decent and so straight you could use them to draw lines with. None voted leave. They are, however, in the minority. Rather more people think Gillian Duffy was raising legitimate points about immigration. They think she speaks for people who have been ‘left behind’ by globalisation. Here’s some more news, donkeyfuckers. You haven’t been ‘left behind’ by globalisation, you’ve either been to stupid to participate in it or else you haven’t noticed that it’s the only thing that brings money into the country. If we relied on British people making British things to sell to British people, we’d all bloody starve. You may not have noticed this, you utter, utter idiots, but even during the Second World War, the country couldn’t support itself and had to rely on the Atlantic convoys to bring in supplies. You really think that you can do that after Brexit? Well, good luck with that, but best not complain when your flatscreen TV goes up in price and they start fisting you for money when you go abroad to Spain. ‘Why is this food so expensive?’ Because you voted for it to be, you massive, massive twat.

What I used to say was that you needed to educate these people. You can’t. They are too stupid to be educated. They buy the Sun and the Express or maybe the Daily Mail, and they believe what they print. ‘Oooh, Doris, look at this. If we vote to stay in the EU, all those gay gypsy nig-nogs will come over here and rape us in the eye sockets and claim benefits while they’re doing it. Each string of gay gypsy nig-nog jizz they catapult into my tiny, tiny brain will be taxpayer funded and they’ll also get free furniture and a baby.’ Then they go off and vote to leave. You’re supposed to think that people this stupid can be saved. They can’t. They’re lost in a hateful fog of their own imagining and nothing, repeat nothing, is going to prise them out of it. You make ‘wanker’ gestures at people like that and laugh at them. Never converse with them.

Is this a recipe for change? No, no it isn’t. Because you will never, ever get change. The electorate are mostly too stupid to realise what’s going on and would prefer the idea that every immigrant is a Pole who is simultaneously scamming them for benefit and taking a job off a British worker and that everyone on benefit is a skiver who could find a job, apart from their relative who has just been unlucky. This, you see, is a stupid country and I’m bored of pretending it isn’t. It’s so stupid that when you say you’re British, you can sense that foreigners feel sorry for you and wonder how you can live with so many stupid people.

Well, bollocks to this. I want to be a foreigner.

PS – Oh, and I can remember British Rail. Privatisation might have been ruinous, but British Rail has to be one of the most crapulent and least efficient organisations that ever existed. The stations looked like hell holes, the rolling stock was deadly and the whole experience of travelling by train was about as much fun as being fired up the rectum of Clement Attlee. If you really want to go back to this, then you are completely and utterly mad.

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.