Douglas Bastard's Rants of Rage


This article was written on 18 Mar 2016, and is filled under Uncategorised.

Joining the SNP

If you were in a prisoner of war camp and someone suddenly vaulted over the wire and ran for their freedom, what would you do? Me, I’d cheer them on and do anything to distract or impede the guards from shooting them. It wouldn’t change my situation, but it’d be a natural human impulse to rally behind someone who had transcended their circumstances and made a break for it. And it’s in that spirit that I’ve joined the SNP.

The UK, as a whole, has had it. If you doubt this, look at the way the Tory government is steadily draining the benefit system of funding, such that people are committing suicide when their claims are rejected, and selling off the NHS to their rich friends. People don’t seem unduly bothered, as they think that they’ll never need either and, oh, look at Boris and his funny hair and the Tories look as though they know what they’re doing because they wear nice suits. You can’t put a price on this kind of idiocy or, rather, you can, and it’s other people’s lives.

As I write this, the country seems set to storm out of the EU for no better reason that that it’s expected to be nice to people it’d rather be racist towards. If I was the EU, I’d have thrown it out years ago or heeded Charles de Gaulle’s wise counsel and never have let it join in the first place, but there we go. Not only is the country in love with reactionary neo-Thatcherism, but it’s also profoundly xenophobic and wants to go back to an Edenic and imagined past that’s probably, in its addled mind, somewhere around the 1950s, before rock and roll and anything too distressing.

The outlook for us, then, is glum. Or is it? Britain is stitched together from a series of countries whose attitude to the United Kingdom is immensely variable and which includes Scotland, who is a much more interesting case altogether. Not only do they quite like the EU, but the recent independence referendum was only narrowly won by those who wanted to remain in the UK. Suggestions are that when the UK leaves the EU, Scotland may swiftly hold another referendum at which it will leave the UK and then join the EU, leaving England, Wales and Northern Ireland to work out their own solution and, presumably, go quietly mad. Incest is never, after all, pretty.

When I’m in the process of writing off to various European nations and asking them to give me citizenship, it seems that I’m missing something blindingly obvious. I don’t need to learn French, Or German or Swedish, or some other language to live. In fact, I don’t even have to leave this landmass at all. With the UK out of EU, Scotland out of the UK and then swiftly back in the EU, I could just throw myself on the Scots’ mercy. I’m freelance, I earn sporadic but decent money and I think I’d be an asset to them. Fingers crossed.

Because it’s hugely lazy to wait for a change you aren’t prepared to work for or subsidise, I send a small amount of cash to the SNP in return for membership. In time, when my life is slightly more settled and I have an actual address just like real people, I hope to provide some kind of practical help but, right now, this has to do. I believe in a better world. It’s just not one that’s ever going to happen in England anytime soon.

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